MicroBlog

Did you know that I've started a MicroBlog on the accidentally, kle Facebook page?

Be sure to 'Like' the page to keep up! :)

Dear Adam

My dearest Smiling Boy

Two months old already. I have no idea how we got here so fast, it seems like yesterday I held you in my arms for the first time and fell in love all over again. Since then, we've been through a lot together, it's not always been the smoothest ride but we've pulled through, you and me, and we're good buddies now.

You are so easygoing and happy, so ready to smile - even when you're crying. I can see you being one of those people to always try and see the good in everything, the peacemaker, that person everyone loves to have around. You already have the ability to make anyone smile. One look into your big, big eyes that are so desperately trying to talk to us - it's hard to look away.

You especially love it when anyone wriggles their eyebrows at you. You've found this hilarious for weeks. And recently you've begun rewarding us with babbles and chuckles. Nappy changes are some of your most sociable times. You watch me intently as I clean you up, trying to hold your chubby legs in one place (unsuccessfully... I knew the strength of your arms and legs even before you were born), and then you treat me to a huge gummy smile. It makes my day every time.

Watching you and Emily together fills my heart with joy. Your eyes take in everything, you track her across a room as she sings to you and tries to entertain you. Then she wanders over to kiss and hug you - often clumsily - and yet you smile patiently. "It's Emily, it's alright," your eyes seem to be saying. I am so excited to know a time will come where you will actively be able to play together. I hope you'll be the best of friends.

Keep smiling, my beautiful boy. And don't grow too fast. Give me chance to savour every little moment of you.

With love always,
Mummy x

Rainbows

Should I design a completely new room for Emily?

I asked and you answered (thank you!)

You confirmed what I already knew: it's time to move on.

So I put it to Emily (with a limited choice of two of her favourite things or it would never have ended):

"ephelants" (elephants) or rainbows?

I need to get busy designing The Rainbow Room!

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Familiar

David is in London for work this week. It hasn't been easy for many reasons. I have had help over bedtime every day which I cannot begin to express gratitude for, but I am alone at night. And typically, Adam seems to have caught some sort of cold - he's even lost his voice - so there was one night in particular that was even harder than I could have imagined.

But there's another thing I'm struggling with. It's made me think of England again. He's in a place that still feels like home. It's gotten better, time has made it easier, I don't actively miss it every day any longer. But when I stop and think about it, it does actually... hurt. Maybe I sound crazy but sometimes leaving England feels a little bit like a break up. I'm left with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and a slightly broken heart.

I look at pictures, and things and places are so familiar, and on some level I cannot comprehend that they are not part of my immediate world any longer. I cannot comprehend why I no longer have easy access to things that were part of the landscape, things I took for granted for so long. Even things I didn't particularly like - they're just missing. Part of my brain just doesn't get the fact that I don't live there anymore and in a way, it makes it even harder.

Gah. Will it ever end?

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Growing Up: The Teddy Bear Diaries

Thanks to Timehop, I came across this post yesterday, and couldn't resist adding to it. The difference in Emily in a year is flabbergasting to say the least. If I thought she looked grown up last year...!

So then I decided to make this a yearly thing and I started Adam's too. He wasn't entirely impressed with me at first but we got there in the end!

You may notice that Emily and Adam are more or less the same size in their first pictures, despite Emily being two months older than Adam currently is at the time I took her picture. This is not surprising. I weighed Adam this week - he weighs a whopping 6.3kg (13lb14oz) at not yet 8 weeks of age. I've looked it up in her red book... Emily weighed similar at 15 weeks!!! So yeah. Big.